Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Oh Wherefore Art Thou

I sometimes get curious when i lose things. My pencil, my self-respect, my summer...i don't know where it could have gone. Sure, i did things: i worked, hung out with friends, had the cliche summer boyfriend, but what did i do of lasting value? Normally my summer's are chock full of educational trips across the world or to the interior of Canada or to the local park, and self-realization and discovery. But this summer...i am not quite sure how it slipped through the cracks quite so fast. And what do i have to show for it? Three rolls of film (, a journal full of illegible entries, and a head full of split-second memories.
See, this is what i don't want my life to be like. It happens so fast, things go by so quickly, and i want to grab them, snatch time by its coat-tails and say hey, slow down a sec. I didn't quite catch that last part there- where did you say my 20's went?
I feel a sense of urgency. Maybe it's because i'm getting older, maybe it's the culture we live in. But i can't- i just can't- slow down. I am rolling down a hill, and i only get going faster and faster the farther i roll.
Maybe this is the rest of my life: half-glimpses and almost-forgotten memories. Oh please, let it not be this way. I want to savour things! I want to hold the wine in my mouth and let the flavours seep into my palette! I want to smell the roses, and wait for the bread to rise, etc etc. I don't want to see the world... I want to experience it: not just sight, but touch, taste, smell. And I feel like my window of opportunity is closing, fast.

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