Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Calgary- Closer to Halfway Home

It's over. And I'm shaky, from caffeine and adrenaline withdrawal and sitting in the Calgary airport closer to half way home.
I shed those tears weeks ago, and so conversations held were adult, calm, rational. Today though, sitting in the Winnipeg airport, it hit me for one second, and I felt like someone had punched all the air out of my stomach and I curved over, bent slightly forward trying to get air. I think I gasped once, delicately, quietly, and closed my eyes, squeezed out two tears, then recovered. Went back to reading Watchmen and eating my goldfish crackers.
Those times I memorized pieces and articles of chunks of skin, and the way the crease in the corner of the eye met the bridge of the nose, the few faint freckles, the pointed perfect elf ear, the melted mouth so sweet- I wish I hadn't. I want to erase it from my mind. You cannot forgot what you so diligently committed to memory.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, tonight you are mine.


  1. Ouf, so much of this hits really close to home.
    I hope you're doing alright.
    You put everything so very beautifully.

  2. Chris- do you have Skype? We should chat sometime! And yes, I'm doing fine, and hope you are too.

    Ivan- I was very close friends once with a guy named Ivan and he hurt me deeply. Promise you won't do the same? :)

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  4. Come get coffee with me tomorrow.

  5. I don't think I want to, actually. I'm not being facetious, I just would rather not. Thanks though.