(D and I, Christmas Eve 2008)
I kind of really like the idea of doing a summary of the past year, in the spirit of "blank slate"-ing and having a chance to start afresh.
I just read my journal from last year, in the hopes of recapturing what i had been feeling this time last year... the answer: not good. I was depressed, lost, tired, bored. But, thankfully, things only got better. I completed my first year of university. I went through a few boys, before discarding them like take-away containers. I stayed in Edmonton for the summer, working and often living on my own. Some good memories there...like how one hot, muggy evening my sister and i met up after work and in the half-darkness that is nighttime in the North we went to the big fountains by the government buildings and lifted our skirts and splashed around in the cool water, while a lightning storm rolled in from across the river. Or how after J's wedding we were hanging out in our basement, and the lights went out...we went outside and the sky was a sickly green and orange and red, and trees were falling down, and there was a tornado. I haven't been that scared in a long time.
I used to take walks every day with my dog through the river valley, and explore. I would sit on the river bank and draw and throw sticks for Molly. Late nights with friends sitting on back porches and drinking wine and eating chocolate mousse.
Going out to wine-bars and theatre and being taken flying over the city at sunset. Reading everything but the Sport and the Business sections in the paper on Sunday nights.
My friend Jill visited me this summer, and i think we had the most fun ever on our ill-fated road-trip to Canmore.
This Fall i learnt the importance of staying home and relaxing instead of constant socializing. I discovered that no matter how low you feel, there will come a time when you don't feel that way anymore- that life is malleable, and changeable, and that there is always an element of the unknown when you are dealing with people. That no matter how well you think you have someone pegged down, they can still surprise you.
Especially in the last month, I've discovered that i can surprise myself. And that you never know who you will meet around the next corner. A piece of advice that my new friend Daniel gave me this Christmas, a sort of motto to live by: try everything once. You will never, ever regret it.
I feel like this past year i had no expectations of any kind, and so my year was full to bursting with new and strange experiences. This year i am ready and willing: I will grab life by the hand, and let it take me wherever it goes. You have no idea of the number of days you have left to live, and so every one must be treated as a special gift. This year, i am more prepared: I will recount all my strange and wonderous adventures, and try to find the humour in every situation. VIVE!