Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Maybe Later

Today was not a day to expect much from, but I was given so little to go on that for the entire day I felt hollow and empty so that if someone had rapped me sharply on my head, I'm pretty sure it would have *DOING*-ed like a church bell.
Every bite I ate did nothing to fill my stomach. I could sense the hunger behind my eyes, and people walking by regarded me warily, like one does a wolf.
Not that I see many wolves around here, but you know. They could be there.
And it was cold, and grey, and I didn't venture outside once between the hours of 10 a.m. and 7 p.m., which is basically from dawn to very very dark..
And I said things too harshly to my friends and my sister, and now everyone is mad at me but I don't have the brain space to worry about it right now, just like I don't have the time to do my laundry or clean my bathroom or finish my painting or put away my clean dishes or go Christmas shopping or even be nice to my parents. I don't have the energy to look the cute guy in the eye because I feel greasy and sad and too thin and I can't bring myself to pull up some confidence and smile. Not now. Maybe next week.

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